Does anyone feel embarrassed admitting that they're TTC? Like admitting that you want it is embarrassing?
I've been feeling that way lately--you know, amidst sorting out this plethora of feelings that I seem to have. I saw a friend from college the other day who is expecting and she asked if we were ready yet (in a very polite, encouraging and friend-like manner) and I immediately launched into my usual "OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING?!" shtick that I use to ward off the barrage of pressure that I've gotten from people over the years.
I don't know if it's because of the possibility of failure, the fact that I've joked that I'm not ready with people to ward them off and how they'll take my change of heart, fear that someone wouldn't understand my situation, or if it's that I'm just not ready to talk about it yet.
I feel very alone in this and could use someone else telling me it's okay...
That's where you come in, Internet Friends: Tell me your feelings.
Yes Avenger...I know exactly what you mean! We are not ttc-ing quite yet but I go back and forth really wanting too and almost at the point of being jealous of those who are pg to absolutely dismissing the thought of ttcing all togethor.
ReplyDeleteI feel like people are waiting and expecting us to have babies. I've said the same "OMG are u kidding" and even that I'm not sure we will ever be ready and so to admit I want to or am in the process is somewhat embarrassing!
I know how you feel. I'm struggling with whether or not to tell one of our friends, who keeps asking us on a regular basis. Like you said, it is kinda embarrassing to admit (no idea why though), and yeah, I dont know, it's hard to put it in words, but you're not alone!
ReplyDeleteI'm here for ya! You know us long cycle gals can't let ourselves want it too badly. I think not o'ing puts in all sorts of jumbled feelings and we need to protect ourselves from the "want" and sharing with others. No one can understand unless they have been there. But that's okay too. I do feel like I am in limbo, I can relate that others are TTC but there is nothing for me to do. No DPO to count, No POAS. I can't even count on AF to show. I chart CM, but what's the point if it doesn't really predict anything? How am I TTC again? Really?
ReplyDelete-feelings from an internet friend.
This is how I feel! I even feel embarassed to be buying anything ttc related at the store, like I am a 27 year old married woman but purchasing a pregnancy test or OPKs is embarassing? Why? And then you get isolated because there is no one to talk to! I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteI have to say, I see your point. We're taking a break right now, but, I did feel that way. And I still have only todl a few people that I visit GP. I felt a couple of ways.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I'm the type that doesn't want to call attention to it. I don't want it to NOT happen and then feel like I "failed" - and think others think the same thing. Second, I didn't/don't want others asking me about it if it's not happening. Third, I felt/feel like no one would quite understand my obsession with motherhood. My absolute NEED for it. I felt that no one would understand like my own mind does.
So yes, I see where you're going...
It's not so much that I feel embarassed, but that I don't want anyone to know. The added pressure of people asking about TTC would be too much.
ReplyDeleteBut yea I play the "Oh a puppy is more than enough" game for now...
I only had 2 close friends that knew we were ttc (they were as well). To the rest of the world the three of us had the same front "What kids now? You're kidding! We're just (settling into the house, enjoying married life, doing over the house, too young)"..
ReplyDeleteI did it because I didn't want people asking me questions about ttc, or giving me their unsolicited input, or giving me crap for our decision.
Long story short. You're A-OK in Mrs.Bro's book :-)
Yeah, I pretty much say the exact same thing to everyone I know. I act like we're no where near ready... why?? I have no idea. I guess I don't want any additional pressure from them, and most of my friends aren't close so I'm pretty sure they wouldn't understand anyway. I do however always feel dis-genuine when I say it to someone. Like, I'm ashamed of TTC.
ReplyDeleteSo basically we're all in the same boat it looks like ;-)