Hello, darling internet friends. I'm so sorry for my recent absence--I hope I wasn't missed too terribly. I spent the weekend taking it easy, hanging out with my husband, some good friends, and my family (I think I'm no longer avoiding them.)

But as Ron Burgundy so eloquently put it, I'm trapped in a glass box of emotions right now. I'd be lying if I didn't "discard" the aforementioned hangover temp at least every other day for the past two weeks (Who am I kidding? It was probably once a day!), just to see if it gave me CH's again. And it did. Until today.

I'm a little frustrated that on my first cycle TTC I've been stricken with not only phantom ovulation, but also phantom pregnancy signs. I appreciate this muchly, Fertility Gods. I mean, couldn't I have my first cycle just like I imagined it -- a simple combination of candle-lit romance, heartfelt pre and post coital conversations with DH, making all of my new GP friends on the interwebs, and riding around on a unicorn? I mean, I didn't even have a BFP in this fantasy! Is this too much to ask, pray tell?

So my temps have remained above my phantom coverline (today is 13DP-phantom-O) and last week I started getting these really weird stomach cramps - almost like hunger pains, but they don't go away when I eat. The pain seems to radiate from my diaphragm, but I don't get nauseous. I started noticing them last week and thought it was odd, but I don't remember having them over the weekend, but today it's back full force. I also lost about 2 lbs in the past week and I'm not even trying, which seems odd.

Now here's where you stop rolling your eyes and breathe a sigh of relief that I have not completely lost my mind. Despite all of my chart-looking and blogging incessantly, I am smart enough and reasonable enough to realize that real ovulation and real pregnancy are such ridiculous concepts for me that I have not taken, nor even purchased any pregnancy tests. I did, however, purchase an OV Watch on eBay, so I'm going to give that a shot next cycle.

To add confusion to it all, yesterday when checking my CP, I found a single strand of EWCM. And then I had a temp rise this morning which turned my phantom solid CH's into dotted ones (in which case my timing SUCKED because I chose sleep over lovin' last night which I had a feeling at the time was a stupid, stupid mistake).

But like I said before--it's my blog, so I'm going to tell you everything, whether you want to hear it or not... And that's where I am today.