Enjoying what I have while I have it--and hoping it's forever.

Yesterday I decided I would stop testing, but I still have a stack of HPT's at home to waste so this morning I caved and POAS'd again and saw two lovely dark lines! Fingers crossed that it means things are progressing properly.

I finally called my OB's office today and scheduled my first appointment with the midwife--I swear, I have mad pregnancy brain already. I've been forgetting EVERYTHING!

My first appointment is scheduled for 2/18 with the midwife, but I'm waiting for the nurse to call me back to discuss a modified monitoring schedule. I don't need/want all of that extra monitoring again, but I'd really like one early ultrasound. Show me a heartbeat, show me it's growing, and let me get on with my life. Ya know?

They will be checking me at about 16 weeks to make sure that kidneys have developed (the earliest they can verify they're there *and* functioning.) That's probably the day that I'll be sick to my stomach with worry.

I feel like in order for me to not be all freaked out, I need to be 100% positive and proceed as such. I already feel like I've been cheated out of so much with my first pregnancy, I refuse to be cheated out of any single ounce of happiness this go-round.

And if something knocks me on my ass (which I'm fully aware can happen) I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. But at least I won't regret enjoying what I have when I have it.