I will not be the Jessi Spano of pregnancy. You know, all dancing around a room by myself, hopped up on No-Doz singing, "I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so... I'm so... SCARED, ZACK!"
No, that will not be me.
Something's come over me since I saw that 2nd line on the test and maybe it's just a temporary coping mechanism, but I feel this need to proceed like everything is going to be okay. I want to dive right into my October Mommies group, give up moderator rights to my fav. TTC message board, and talk about the future with certainty. Sure, I don't want to shout it from the rooftops just yet (I mean, hello... I'm still coping with my own shit, I'm not ready to pile anyone else's emotions on top of mine or listen to their fears) but I just want to savor every beautiful moment of this and just believe.
I figure that if I stress and everything goes fine, I'd have worried for nothing and cheated my baby out of every ounce of joy they're due. And if something goes terribly wrong, I will be absolutely devastated again. But why suffer before something actually goes wrong? What good would that do?
Exactly.
I refuse to regret one moment of this or apologize for having hope. Today is a good day and I hope there are many more miracles to follow.
xoxo
OMG! I didn't know you were pregnant! I am so happy for you! I cried when I read this, what happy, happy news!!!! And what a great attitude you have, I think that is the perfect outlook. Happy and Healthy 9 months to you!!!!! When in October are you due? My due date was Oct 21st last year but my twins came much earlier, but I still think of myself as an October mommy to some extent as that is the month I daydreamed about since my BFP last February! Agh, I am rambling, congrats!!!
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