This is the cycle that will not end. Yes, it goes on and on my friends...

I think Provera is what messed me up. My cycles had been about 38 days for awhile now, but my RE wanted me to try Provera to induce a period during the litany of previous visits, but she'd always show up before I could get to it, so I did that in early October and now I'm stuck on a long cycle.

I didn't think it was possible to O on CD 47, but I started temping around CD 35 and entering them into FF, and I had a dip/spike around CD 47 that FF marked as my O day (but it was only dotted CH's, so who knows).

I had about 15 days of elevated temps after that, but they dropped over the weekend, so I'm sure AF will be soon to follow (my bb's hurt like a mofo), but to add to this massive amount of confusion, my temp was back up again today, but not as high as it was.

Seriously, this cycle has to end!

Dear AF,

Dear AF,

I baked cookies. Lots of cookies. Please come home for Christmas.

Love, Me

Seriously... it's CD 63 and I'm sooo ready for this beeotch to arrive. She no-showed for Thanksgiving, the least she could do would be to show me some love by Christmas...

Dearest Aunt Flo,

I'd like to cordially invite you to my Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I know this seems like a last minute invitation, but really, I promise that you have been on my mind. It's not just that I'm ready to commence with the charting, obsessing and BD'd that I'm sure is to follow, but seriously? I've just become a hormonal, irrational bitch and I'm hoping that your speedy arrival is the case, not the fact that sometimes I'm just cranky and/or an awful person.

But back to the issue at hand--I'm making turkey and stuffing (I know how much you love carbs!) and I'm going to make an attempt to bake a chocolate and raspberry torte. Maybe I'll throw in a glass of wine and something super salty and we can call it a date, yes?

xoxo, Me, my vagina, and my DH's sanity

Was that a false start?

I was a little worried that I'd posted my TTC thoughts too soon--that DH would get cold feet. But I came home today and he was a little sad--one of his friends in NC called to say his wife is PG and he was a little jealous.

I know it's nothing compared to what girls with trouble TTC have gone through, but that little moment where he was sad was super cute and I think it made him further realize how much he wants this. Maybe we really are there.

Is this it? Is it really, really it?

I know I'm probably getting ahead of myself on a lot of this, but since I try to be an organized list-maker, this is what has transpired in my noggin' lately that makes me think that we've reached the cusp of being ready to TTC (please note that this is not in order of importance):

- I'm turning 30 next year... ICK!
- My maternity leave rocks, as does DH's insurance.
- Savings is in good shape.
- Went to Europe, learned that while I enjoy travel, I do not want to sell off my worldly possessions and become a citizen of the world. Settling down and having kids sounds like a better plan.
- Finishing up my dental work that needs to be done (last real "procedure" is Dec. 2nd).
- I already eat a pretty healthy diet with lots of fruits and vegetables. I've cut back on carbs and kept what I do eat to mostly whole grains. I could do better on the low carbs thing, though. I avoid processed foods, too, but could always do better on going out to eat (but I don't eat fast food).
- I don't drink coffee or pop, but I do drink tea. I need to up my water intake on a daily basis. I've cut back on alcohol for the most part, but I'm sure there's going to be some more holiday fun before I'm officially done with it (and officially TTC).
- I've been taking a prenatal vitamin since last January (RE's recommendation), Target brand.
- I need to add some sort of exercise plan, especially including pilates because of my herniated disc... I've heard it's a b*tch while PG.
- I've learned how to check CM, CP, temp and chart. I'm not 100% sure that I've ever detected ovulation, but I do get EWCM sometimes. This year since we weren't TTC, I just kept CM/general cycle info in FF, but I did do a little temping here and there... I know, I know... Unacceptable. Believe me, I regret this now because I could have a whole year's worth of cycle information at this point instead of wondering and worrying.
- I'm not sharing this information with my family in order to avoid unnecessary questions/suggestions from well-meaning loved ones.
- I did that whole check-up series with my RE this summer and it looks like there's no visual barriers to conception, just a chemical inbalance that prevents ovulation. However, my periods have been more regular this year than ever in my life (Almost every cycle was about 38 days instead of the months and months that I've experienced before--I tend to think it's diet related). So do I give it a couple of months on our own and have an appointment set with my RE for Feb/March? He said that when we're ready to TTC to give him a call, but I'm fairly certain that's just to start clomid.

What am I missing to try to increase our chances of this happening naturally? Preseed? Evening primrose oil? OPK's? I know those things can't increase chances of ovulation, but might they give me a better understanding of what's going on in the uterus department? That's all that I can think of for now.

May I please be crowned the valedictorian of TTC? Or at the very least, the Eagle Scout of TTC?

Effing provera!

I'm trying to induce a period with Provera and I'm on day 6 (of a 10 day supply at 10mg) and I don't feel AF coming on at all yet. For some reason, I had it in my head that once I started taking it, AF would appear right away. Apparently I'm delusional in this expectation.

I'm on CD 34 and hoping to have AF and get rid of her before our fabulous European vacation on the 16th. My RE has wanted me to take this for some time in order to see if it induces a period. If I'm recalling his instructions correctly, if it works it means that my (suspected) inability to ovulate is a simple miscommunication between my reproductive organs, which can be remedied with some meds. If not, it's a brain communication issue. So... I'm just hoping this stuff starts working to get that answer squared away.

To add insult to injury, I've been feeling ridiculously bloated since being on this garbage--way worse than AF. Today I stepped on the scale and almost had a heart attack. I didn't expect this AT ALL as a side effect, but maybe that just means that I should have googled more before poppin' these lovely pills. I've been pretty good about eating right and monitoring my salt intake, but I seriously feel like I ate 7 bags of Fritos! Jesus Christ! 2 days left of these bitches... I wonder how fast will this go away??

The motion in the ocean

So I had my last visit to my RE today for awhile. I had the saline ultrasound this morning and it looks like my organs look healthy/normal. Huzzah for good news!

The procedure itself was actually totally painless for me, I didn't even feel the cervical catheter (TMI?) But after I got to work, I was kinda crampy and I still am, but not bad at all. We also got to do my wrap-up conversation for all of this testing that I've been doing.

My endometrial biopsy came back normal, my FSH levels came back normal, but I have elevated estrogen which indicates the presence of cysts, and then my ultrasound was normal. So he wrote me a prescription for provera to induce periods if I don't have a period on my own. The other option is to go on BCP's, which I refuse to do ever again. So no more going 73+ days! Yahoo!

Super Fun Time aka My Big Fat Endometrial Biopsy!

Whoohoo! Had a little bit of fun this morning with my RE, as I had my endometrial biopsy. I wasn't quite sure to expect as everything did say that it would hurt, I'd have cramping, etc.

While it wasn't fun, it really wasn't that bad. Similar to an uncomfortable pap with a few icky cramps afterwards. So now I start provera, wait for a period, go back for my saline ultrasound, do my zpack, and then do bloodwork.


I have some ridiculous, irrational thoughts about this saline ultrasound that I'm afraid to ask the RE's office about. Suffice it to say, I have visions of a powerwasher, a RE in a raincoat and goggles, and then having my uterus filled like a balloon. I have visions of leaking all over the place, but being bloated enough that I look PG.

Irrational, right? RIGHT?!?!

Update on Vagina Day 2008

Please forgive me on spelling/if anything is out of order. I left my papers at home, so I'm going from memory, but I think I have it:

I have to have an endometrial biopsy on Friday (and bloodwork, but it's the same thing we've done before but it needs to be updated), then we're doing progesterone to induce a period, then a saline ultrasound and a Z-pack of antibiotics.

I guess the concern is if damage has been done by going such long lengths of time without a period - you know, precancerous lining and what not. But some of it is to rule out potential issues, and make sure everything is in working order for when we're ready to pull the trigger on baby making (with clomid).

So that's the story. I think the results of all of this will determine when we'll start TTC. If things look healthy, I might put it off a bit longer. If things seem awry, we'll probably bump that date up a bit.

Oh one more thing to add! He asked who had referred me to him and I explained through my insurance, but then added that a lot of my friends had gone to him for a variety of issues. I sort of chuckled to myself because I wanted to say, "OH YEAH! You've seen at least 7 of my friends vaginas!!" The poor guy seems so gentle and sensitive, I'm not quite sure he would have known how to take that comment.

Now what really makes me laugh is that I didn't say it because I didn't want to make HIM feel uncomfortable--even though I was the one in the stirrups!

Happy Vagina Day!

Yeppers, I'm finally getting my little butt into see my RE to have my annual, share my inconsistent cycle information, and see about next steps in figuring out why I have defective plumbing.