Dear 2009, Screw you. kthxbai!

Yesterday my sister cracked a joke that 2009 needs to get the fuck over with before more bad shit happens. I cannot echo this sentiment enough.

For a year that started out so great, so full of possibility, it certainly has turned into a turd sandwich rather quickly. Not long after Jude's passing, one of our dear friends was rushed into the hospital due to complications from her cancer and cancer treatments and has now been sent home from the hospital with hospice coming in because there's nothing more they can do for her.

Are you kidding me? She's twenty-fucking-nine!! This battle with cancer has been going on for five years (it's a rare form) and if there was anyone I thought could beat it, it was her. All I can say is, "What the fuck?"

Really--Anything can happen to any of us, at any time. There's no rhyme or reason, no hiding from it, and nothing you can do to prevent it. This is disturbing yours truly (aka Polly Positivity) in a very deep way.

Last week we went to see a grief counselor for the first time. Unfortunately, neither of us liked her all that much and she said a few things that made me give her the ::sideeye::

First off, she didn't read any of my paperwork that clearly states that we're there for grief counseling. She was super weird with us in the waiting room like she didn't understand who we were or why we were there and then when we went into her office, she started to talk to us about what would happen if we got divorced--Yeah, um, lady? This is not an issue. Despite how hard this all is, we're openly communicating and madly in love. We're just really effing sad right now and want to make sure that we're moving through this all in the right way.

So that wasn't exactly a good start, but then throughout the rest of the appointment it just seemed like she wasn't following what we were saying, despite the fact she repeated every.single.thing. we said. It was really irritating. Plus, she said some kinda judgemental stuff to my husband, which had me annoyed on his behalf.

Anyway, today I called my insurance and got a new authorization to see someone new and cancelled our appt for this week with the old counselor. I'm not sure how someone goes about therapist shopping, but I guess it's something that I'll have to figure out on the fly.