A good pick-me-up

I've been feeling more than a little apprehensive and freaked out over the past day or two. Having our kidney function ultrasound next week has dredged up memories of our anatomy scan last August... And it's left me feeling a little shaken.

I know that it's very unlikely that the same thing happened again or that there's anything else wrong. When those fears surface, I do my best to squash them. But then when I try to envision being given happy news, it's bittersweet that we didn't get good news last time. I hate to be greedy, but I want both of my babies here with me.

But I just had an unexpected interaction in the bathroom with a coworker. She asked me how I was feeling and if we were finding out if it's a boy or a girl. She asked if we found out last time, but then started to stop when she remembered that I hadn't carried the pregnancy to term. I just smiled and replied that yes, we did find out when I delivered and we had a little girl. She said that was sweet and then went on to ask about names and we discussed that for a little bit.

It felt good to say that I delivered a little girl. I may not get to walk around with her in my arms every day, but every day I walk around with her in my heart. And it felt good to say that out loud.

In other news, I've been getting more belly bubbles and starting to get that seasick feeling of something rolling around inside me--but nothing distinct yet. I'll be sure to keep you posted on progress.