Something to bore you...

I know a lot of PG people fill these out and I always found them terribly boring, but I guess I should record these items for posterity's sake.

How far along? 13 1/2 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: about 5 lbs. 4 if I'm drinking a lot of water, 6 if I'm retaining water.
Maternity clothes? They're not a necessity at this point, but I have a few items (like these great jeans I got last week) that I'm starting to sneak in rather than buying larger sizes.
Stretch marks? None.
Sleep: I had a few nights of insomnia, probably induced by me trying to sleep on my side instead of my back, but last night I just slept any which way, which was fabulous.
Best moment this week: Switching over to 2T on TheBump! 1T was not for me.
Movement: Only my ass widening.
Food cravings: OJ in the morning (I bought all of these fancy juices and I can barely bring myself to drink them). That's about it.
Food aversions (added this!): bananas. I think I'd rather die than eat one and I used to love them.
Gender: TBD. I set my big u/s appt at my next appt on the 22nd. Is it wrong that I'm thinking of giving them my LMP date instead of O date so that they put me in earlier?
Labor Signs: Oh god no.
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: I don't really think I'm missing anything. I was going to take hang gliding lessons next week while on vacation (before I got PG) but that plan is nixed and I'm kinda sad about that.
What I am looking forward to: Nesting and getting the baby's room together
Weekly Wisdom: Ha! I have none. I'm just lucky. Ridiculously lucky.
Milestones: TheBump says I'm in the 2nd tri! Oh, and rumor has it that my behbeh is the size of a peach or a lemon... That's so amazing!!

Dream from last week... a belated post

So I had this awful dream last night that I had to go in for testing and the girl at the front desk was a total rude bitch to me--not answering my questions, acting like I was stupid for not already knowing everything they were going to do, etc. I finally flipped my bitch switch, went off on her, and asked for someone else to help me--and everyone thought *I* was being crazy instead of justified in my frustration.

Then I go into this room where these weird testing machines drop down from the ceiling and when I light blinked, you had to click the corresponding lever to test your vision and reaction time. Only they didn't tell me that was what the test was, so I didn't understand what I was supposed to do. And to make this test even more weird, there were several people in the room --pregnant and not pregnant (including my sister who was with me) who took it, too. They all seemed to understand what to do.

Then I'm in this suite type room waiting to be taken back to test and suddenly all of my family barges in and starts to be really obnoxious and very rude. I'm getting frustrated that I still don't know what tests they're going to run. My family thinks I'm being totally unreasonable--partying it up while I'm trying to calm down and wait to be tested.

Analysis:
- Girl at front desk = I don't feel like I have a clear understanding of where my prenatal care is headed. I mean, I always know when my next appointment will be and what we'll do, but I don't have an overall "big picture" laid out.
- Testing = I'm still not 100% sure what they're actually testing during bloodwork, paps, urine, etc. And I have a growing fear of unnecessary testing and interventions.
- My family being whack jobs = We are talking about our birth plan and who we want to have there. I feel like I'd like it to just be me and DH, but my mom really wants to be there--and she knows a ton about childbirth. But she can certainly grate on my nerves and sometimes I feel like she tries to claim childbirth as "her thing," which makes me want to invite DH's parents so that they can share in it too (*IF* they want to). This also complicates things because my mom and my dad can't really be in the same room together. Anyway. This is another story for another day and one that I suspect you'll be hearing more on soon.

xoxo,
MSC

NT scan update

I had my 12 week scan today and things look fabulous. I'm even measuring 12w2d when by dates I'm only 11w3d. Whoohoo! The end of the first trimester is in sight!

Oh and I also outed myself on Facebook today. I posted the u/s photos and put, "Would like for you to pass her the pickles and ice cream, please" as my status update. I was so nervous, my hands were shaking.

So here we go. I'm outed, the baby looks faboo and I'm on my way out of the 1st tri. Wow.

I am not alone

I know that the moment you find out you're pregnant that you're supposed to be overwhelmed with love for this cluster of cells growing inside you. You're supposed to immediately clasp your hands to your tummy, rub it, and talk to your baby. Your husband and you should cry tears of joy looking at that BFP together and every day talk about your dreams and wishes for your bundle of joy.

Right?

Well, that's not exactly how things have gone down in my world. Don't get me wrong, we've been super happy and excited at Casa de MSC, but the reality of the whole situation has taken a long time to sink in... And you'd think with 3 rounds of great betas and 3 ultrasounds so far that we'd be convinced.

The other night I went with some friends to see my beloved New Kids on the Block and sometime before the show I thought to myself, "This is my baby's first New Kids concert!" and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the weirdest feeling--I am not alone. This wasn't like a mental thing where it was becoming more real to me--but it felt like it was the baby making it's presence known for the first time. That feeling hasn't gone away since then and even thinking about it makes me pretty emotional. I tried to explain it to DH, and of course cried like a baby--but happy tears. The emotional connection is starting to grow and I'm starting to feel a wee bit more like a pregnant woman--not just like I play one on TV.

So I'm not talking to the baby yet, but I have instinctively placed my hand on my belly on a handful of occasions. I'm trying to keep that to a minimum because, well, it's annoying to watch other people do it.

But I am not alone. What a crazy feeling.

What dreams are made of

So I had a dream last night that we had the baby--and it was a home birth. It was a hard labor, but a really beautiful experience and the baby latched on to breastfeed right away.

It had really dark hair (and a ton of it) and dark eyes and it was a boy--but I swear to you that it looked like a girl (ambiguous much?) so much so that I didn't believe people when they said it was a boy. It was absolutely the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

But I kept forgetting where I put it--losing it in bed blankets and what not and accidentally putting it face down. The baby kept laughing at me for doing it. I'm an awesome mom already, aren't I?

Boy or girl? Let's start the debate early.

It's a boy if:
· You didn't experience morning sickness in early pregnancy
· Your baby's heart rate is less than 140 beats per minute
· You are carrying the extra weight out front
· Your belly looks like a basketball
· Your areolas have darkened considerably
· You are carrying low
· You are craving salty or sour foods
· You are craving protein -- meats and cheese
· Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy
· The hair on your legs has grown faster during pregnancy
· Your hands are very dry
· Your pillow faces north when you sleep · Dad-to-be is gaining weight, right along with you
· Pregnancy has you looking better than ever
· Your urine is bright yellow in color
· Your nose is spreading
· You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves in circles
· You are having headaches
· You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an even number

It's a girl if:
· You had morning sickness early in pregnancy
· Your baby's heart rate is at least 140 beats per minute
· You are carrying the weight in your hips and rear
· Your left breast is larger than your right breast · Your hair develops red highlights
· You are carrying high
· Your belly looks like a watermelon
· You are craving sweets
· You are craving fruit
· You crave orange juice
· You don't look quite as good as normal during pregnancy
· You are moodier than usual during pregnancy
· Your face breaks out more than usual
· You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread
· Your breasts have really blossomed!
· Your pillow faces south when you sleep
· Your urine is a dull yellow color
· You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves from side to side
- You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an odd number

I know I have awhile to go before I find out (mid/late August... UGH!) but the mental debate is already raging.

I think the most compelling two items are that I haven't had morning sickness and the baby's heartbeat has been in the 160-170 range. Unfortunately, these two items are totally conflicting.

DH comes from a 2 boy, 2 girl family. His sisters have had 2 girls and 3 boys. I come from a long line of all girls on my mom's side and mostly boys on my dad's. My sister has had two girls.

See? Totally split, however you look at it. I mean, I know it's the sperm that determines gender, but apparently female pH can have a lot to do with it, too.

So... I don't know.

Would it be so wrong?

I am so exhausted today that I seriously considered throwing a toilet seat cover on the potty and taking a nap in the stall. I carefully evaluated the likelihood of my ass falling asleep, cutting off the circulation to my legs, and the sleep lines on my face from holding my head in my hands.

But nowhere in this evaluation did I take into account the consequences of getting caught.

Pregnancy brain, anyone?

One hour until lunch and my less-likely-to-be-terminated-for car nap. Whoohoo!

9w6d Appt

I had another dr's appointment and ultrasound this morning and everything looks wonderful. Mr. Peanut was measuring a day ahead of schedule at 10W and the heartbeat was somewhere in the 162-164 range (I forget!)

I'll post the u/s photo later. It's pretty blurry, but it was neat to be able to see a face/arms, etc.

My next appt will be the NT scan on the 26th. I'm looking forward to getting that out of the way.

The only concern was that at my last appointment I apparently had protein in my urine. I had to test again this morning and it came back fine, but of course it has me a little nervous. I read that it can be a kidney infection or a sign of pre-eclampsia, so I'm actually hoping it's kidney related--I've actually had cloudy pee since I got pregnant, but had assumed it was normal.

Guess I'll be calling my dr's office back.

All's quiet

I had an awesome appointment yesterday! I was just expecting a pap and bloodwork, but I got an ultrasound, too. The baby is measuring right on--8W3D and the heartbeat was strong at 176 bpm.

The last time I was in, we saw the heartbeat, but we didn't get to hear it. As soon as he turned on the sound, I immediately dissolved into tears. It was the most beautiful sound ever.

The only bad thing was that DH missed it--he didn't come with me because my RE hadn't mentioned an ultrasound. But we go back on the 12th for another u/s to make sure everything is moving along, so he's definitely going to that one.

So here's baby MSC... It's head down, but face up. If you rotate it to the right 90 degrees (and squint, and suspend disbelief) it almost looks like a baby.


Upon being informed that we were giving birth to Mr. Peanut, DH asked, "How did it get a top hat, monocle, cane, and shoes with splats in a placenta? I bet when you get an upset stomach it's due to the baby practicing its charleston. What a classy entertainer!"

Oh, DH!!

I cannot tell a lie...

But apparently I can keep a secret.

I've been holding out on you. I'm sorry, I hope that you can forgive me.

After posting a few weeks ago about wanting to test, I ended up grabbing more tests while out on a work errand and like a total teenager, tested at work. I was shocked to see a faint line appear--at 9DPO!

I hid it in my desk and kept looking at it, even leaving the building to get a better look outside in the sunlight. I was beside myself. I called my RE and they wanted me to come in the next day for a beta. Waiting for the results was pure torture, but it came in at a 29.

I wanted to tell DH in person, but I had scheduled dinner guests at our home on Monday and they were arriving right after I got home from work, so I had to wait until they left--at 10:30!!! I showed them out the door, grabbed the cats, and took them upstairs to DH where I told him that we might need to sit down with the boys--and talk to them about how they'd feel about becoming big brothers. He got all wide eyed and was like, "I knew something was up! I knew it!" Still, he made me spell it out for him and told him about testing, the dr's appointment in the a.m. and the risks at this point.

My 2nd round of betas came in at 88 (doubled every 29 hours!) and then the next round came in at 1420 (we had only been expecting 700-800). Whoo hoo! I had my first u/s at 5W3D and was a little disappointed that we just saw a sac, but I went back last week (6W3D) and saw that little pulsating heartbeat and just about melted!!

In summary, I can't say what it was that helped me to get pregnant. I was taking vitex, but I can't pinpoint it as the one thing that helped. I drank Traditional Medicinals fertility tea... YUCK!

But in the end? I got lucky. Really effing lucky. TTC is a crazy crap shoot and I feel like I've won the lottery.

Thank you girls for everything. I love you so, so dearly and I can't thank you enough for all of your support and kind words.

While this info has been on GP for awhile, I couldn't post it on here until I was ready to share it with my local board, which I did today. We're still trying to keep it quiet for a few more weeks, so if you're FB friends with me--no posting anything!!

xoxo,
MSC