More love than we know what to do with

As always, go ahead and hit play... I was recently re-introduced to this song and keep singing it in my head.

Dear Lilly,

Every morning when I hear your little squeaks on the monitor, I can't help but smile to myself as I roll over in the covers, knowing that shortly I'll be seeing your sweet little face, melting my heart completely and washing away any semblance of exhaustion.


You are so magical in the morning! I love your little gasp when you hear me open the door, how you lay there ultra still as I sing you your good morning song, how you break into uncontrollable smiles and wiggles when our eyes meet over the edge of your crib. These are moments that I wish you would be able to remember, but I know I will never forget.


Last night when we returned from my mom's house I carried your tired little body upstairs and my eyes welled up with tears. I remember my dad carrying me to bed after staying late at Grandma and Grandpas--and I can't believe that this little person in my arms is really my daughter and I'm really carrying your amazing little self to your bed. The idea that I make you feel as safe and loved as my parents did back then is almost too much love for me handle.

It's an interesting thing, becoming a parent. Sometimes I just want to call my mom up and ask her how she did it--how she handled us growing up, growing apart, and sometimes us not being all that nice to her. Sure, we have a great relationship now but the teenage years alone were riddled with trying times. I can't imagine how hard that is on a parent when it all starts out with this pure, unapologetic outpouring of love. I hope you never treat me how I've probably treated my parents from time to time. I'm not sure my heart could take it.


We've had some very important conversations lately and while you don't know what I'm saying just yet, I hope someday you'll understand what I've told you:

I love you so simply, so completely, and so endlessly. I will love you until there is no more breath in my body. I will love you even when you are not as perfect as you are now and even when you don't like or love me that much at all. You've always been more than I could ever ask or hope for and I am so, so grateful to you for making me a true momma.


XOXO