Back at it.

Well, I did it. I came back to work almost two weeks ago. I kissed her goodbye and dropped her off at the sitter's without tears--her or me.

And now I'm just stuck sitting here, thinking about her sweet little face and pudgy little body and what we would be doing if I was home with her. I mean, I knew that the day would come and it is what it is, but I wish I had even the slightest option to get to stay home, but there is just no.freaking.way.

I never thought I'd want to be a stay at home mom. I often wondered what SAHM's did all day, how they could possibly enjoy constantly engaging their children in a meaningful way... But then little Miss PJ Rufflebutt came flying out of my vagina and now I'm all like--I GET IT. I can play and engage and teach and snuggle her all.day.long. Even when she's all Fussy Fusspot and screams at me (which thankfully, isn't all that often) I still want to be right there with her. I feel like I'm missing my arm right now. She belongs with me.

So I do what I can to make the nights count--I rush home from work, drop everything (I have even given up watching Wheel of Fortune and if you know me, you know this is my big sacrifice) and play, play, play until she gets all glassy-eyed and it's time for bed.

But still--it's not enough. But c'mon now... With a cutie pie like this I have a feeling that all of the hours in the day would never be enough to shower her with the love that I have inside.

Oh well... wha'cha gonna do? ;-) Keep on keepin' on, I say!


Oh hey! Look who is 3 months old now??