$2079.56

Just in case you were wondering, that's the total of the medical bills that I have sitting on my desk as we speak between my OB, the specialist, the hospital, the anestesiologist, and labor and delivery--$2079.56.

Say it with me: Fuuuuuuck!

Not too long after we got home, we got the bill of what insurance didn't cover, which was about $1,300. Okay, not great, but something I could deal with. I understand that even though we had a negative outcome, people need to be paid. People die all of the time and their families have to pay mountains of medical bills--I'm no exception to the rule.

But then more and more bills keep appearing, with a bulk of them arriving last week.

When DH told me on the phone what the running total was, I had a meltdown. Luckily I was stuck in some traffic so I wasn't really driving at the time, but I just started bawling. All I could think of was, "How much does it cost to have a dead baby? Over $2,000? Really? I'd rather be spending that money on a baby who gets to live."

So I told him that was all we were discussing for the evening--I was done for the night. I had to let that number sink in so that I could deal with it.

I've been walking around for a week with the stack of bills and insurance claims in my purse and today I finally took them out, coallated them together, and read through them. I called the anestesiologist's office first to ask a few questions (left a message), so maybe I can just take it a few each day--calling the doctor's office first to see what else could be covered, and then call my insurance company after that. Baby steps.

Worst case scenario is that we have to pay the full amount. Best case would be that someone, somewhere takes a little pity on me.

How do people get through these types of things without insurance? This would have been almost $16K if we didn't.

*insert big heaving sigh here*