I met a girl on the loss board last week who was going through something very similiar--she went in for the big ultrasound and it was discovered that the baby probably only had one kidney and it was covered in cysts as well as not working properly because she had almost no amniotic fluid. She was given some really awful advice by the first doctor she saw, so when I saw her post on the loss board, I had to find her and talk to her before any action was taken.
It took some hunting, but I finally tracked her down through her local board and someone was kind enough to share her email address with me. We emailed back and forth the rest of the day about everything--the condition, the prognosis, delivery options, what labor and delivery was like... everything. I had never put the entire birth story into words before, but I felt the need to do whatever I could to try to keep her from having the same fear of the unknown that I did.
She's since had her peaceful little girl, we've talked a few times and I would imagine that we'll stay in contact for some time. And in this totally selfish way, I felt an immense amount of relief in being able to talk to someone about my story who truly understood what I felt while all of those fears and thoughts were still fresh in my mind. I hope that I was able to help her navigate a scary situation and make it just a *teensy* bit less frightening and maybe impart some of what I learned from it all.
It just I think this is truly one of those situations that you cannot prepare for. You can not really know how you'll react, what you'll want to do, and what you'll need from people until it's staring you in the face. The best you can do is talk it out, prepare for any result/reaction, and then go with your gut when the time comes.
Kristen, I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss and I hope that you will think of every moment you had with your precious, perfect little girl and smile--even if some tears fall as well. You did an amazing thing and you're an incredible mother. xoxo
your a good person. I'm sure that she was so grateful for you and for your talking about your experience. What we all have been through is terribly painful, but if you can help one person in the process, it helps a little.
ReplyDeleteYour strength is amazing and this was such a kind thing for you to do for her. I'm glad you are able to turn your experience into something positive and help another person, whether it was in encouragement or advice. That's another thing to be proud of MSC!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you helped more than a teensy bit :)
ReplyDeleteI think your post made me cry. You helped more then you know, me and DH are for ever grateful for the advice you have given us. YOU are an amazing person for coming to a complete stranger and giving us comfort and ease our minds about the decision we were making. I think this is one of the few times DH is happy I go on message boards your advice and words helped us through a lot not just a tiny bit. THANK YOU.
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