I get so emotional, baby

I've been thinking about the weaning process for a while now. We've been topping off bottles with whole milk for a few weeks to test the process and see how she does with it--and in true Lillian style she took it all in stride with no issues at all.

So I dropped a morning pumping session--and actually I just get double the milk during my afternoon session, which was kinda cool.

Then I dropped my nighttime pumping session last week. Oh to be able to go to bed early now--I'm positively swooning at the luxury!!

And today I dutifully packed up my pump, took it to work, and decided not to use it. I have enough milk put away for her to get partial BM bottles for our vacation and she turns 1 in two weeks now... So I decided it's time for me and the pump to say goodbye and part ways.

I'm emotional. I'm torn. I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing. Or maybe I know it's the right thing but I don't want this to be the end. I don't want for my baby to stop being a baby. I wish that I could be with her during the day and pumping makes me feel like I'm doing something good for her, providing for her even when I'm not physically present.

Whee! Working mommy guilt's such a fucking blast, isn't it??

But anyway. I think this is it for the daytime sessions. Once she hits 1, we're going to go to just a.m. and p.m. nursing sessions for as long as my supply holds out or as long as she's willing.

And all of that said, I should confess that I caved and pumped tonight a few hours after she was in bed. She wasn't able to finish both boobs, so I had one that was still really full and wasn't going to make it till morning.

Tomorrow I'm going to pack my pump and take it to work, but I think I'm going to keep it in the car.

Baby steps. ;-)